The V word makes its advertising debut!

So there I was, trekking to work, dragging myself up the tube escalator when I see an advert I hadn't noticed before. Some squiggly writing. Hmm what's that say? Vajay... jay?!?! Vajayjay!??  But wait, isn't that... doesn't that mean..?! I'm getting a bit closer to the ad now, squinting in disbelief and YES! Definitely says vajayjay. Maybe I got confused. Is vajayjay a new rapper? I kind of start chuckling at myself, some silly sausage hasn't realised that vajayjay clearrrrly can only be used in a lady garden context! I start to wonder if vajayjay will be touring with Lady Gaga sometime but soon but -No! No there's something else on the ad... little script at the bottom....

loveyourvagina.com

[loveyourvagina.com ad, Moorgate station. Sorry for distant photo... felt like a bit of a pervy weirdo]

Ohhh it's just outrageous isn't it! Just when you thought that the 'v word' would never feature in any ad ever in the history of the world, there it is right in your face (i say) on your daily commute. There are a series of ads featuring slang words for one's... vajayjay... including frufru and bajingo, the words forming a V shape (more subtle that it sounds, actually!).  

So what's it advertising, you may well ask? I initially assumed it must be some sort of government health campaign, as it wasn't too dissimilar to the STI awareness ads (they included a pic of a man in boxers with GONORRHOEA written where you'd expect 'Calvin Klein' to be), but intriguingly the loveyourvagina.com link takes you to a new website created on behalf of Mooncup.

For the uninitiated, the 'Mooncup' is hailed as a ecological new form of female sanitary protection. Up to now, the only way the Mooncup ever seemed to promote itself, was through stickers on the back of toilet doors. They also usually featured a felt-tip scrawled EWWW SOUNDS GROSS (that's the censored version) over the top of them. The website mostly serves as a platform to the main Mooncup site, but it's worth a visit alone for the page 'tell us what you call yours'. In case you're wondering, here a few examples of what to call your / your lady's 'special place':::

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    Faloola
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    My netherlands
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    Jaxy
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    Figa
  • 
    
    Kunt
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    Lady cave
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    Pik pik
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    Harriet
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    Perlimpimpin le magicien
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    Penis flytrap
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    Lady star
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    Penny spender
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    Mossy cleft
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    Falula
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    Money slot
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    Ninny
  • 
    
    Peep peeps
  • 
    
    Mooie
  • 
    
    Mu cha cha My thatcher Ms. tiggywinkle
    
    
    www.loveyourvagina.com

WERTHER'S CHOCOLATE - from grandpas to crazy ladies

The latest ad campaign to drive me up the wall has to be the new Werther's ads.

When I think of Werther's, I think of a warm and fuzzy camera shot of a cosy living room, with a flat-capped grandpa offering a gold-wrapped toffee to a little blond grandson who looks so tooth-achingly sweet in the first place that you start to wonder if the Werther's will tip him over the edge into diabetes.

Werther's have ditched this angle (probably partly due to the fact that you can't put an old man with a young person on TV anymore as we'll only think it's a "Watch out for paedos on the internet" warning) and have moved into the trend of marketing confectionery to women, which has previously worked for many brands.

My only concern is that after watching the new series of ads, filmed as cheesy "testimonials" from women trying the Werther's Chocolate product, I'm wondering if the new sweet has brain zapping power. You want proof?? Listen to Mika's terrifying testimony! ::

(click here if you want to see the shocking proof http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a83tTN64qV4&feature=related)

I love Werther's.. and I love chocolate. (yeah, chocolate's good, we hear you)

I wonder if it's more chocolate... or more Werther's (not really that bothered...)

[tries a sweet]

Well it's interesting.. cos first of all you get the milk chocolate, but then immediately the Werther's! (well that's probably why it's called Werther's Chocolate?)

THAT'S QUITE MAD! (Christ, Mika... bit OTT)

It's really good actually! (Err Mika?.. are you alright?!)

Mm it's delicious! (MIKA! EARTH TO MIKA!)

ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!! (STEP AWAAAY FROM THE SWEETS, LADY!)

Scary... Think I almost preferred the paedo grandpa.

Off with a BANG! - the TDA's new mail campaign

Christmas had long gone, the Boxing Day sales had deteriorated into a shambles and all my New Year's Resolutions had already fluttered away into nothingness, when a little box arrived through my postbox...

A little cardboard box emblazoned with "Happy New Career" across the front.

Had I somehow struck it lucky and got picked for an amazing job that I hadn't even had to apply to?? But what kind of job would that even BE?! Maybe like the secret service... But then that would be kind of unsubtle of them to send me a happy-new-job box. Really bloody stupid, actually. Pretty sure James Bond didn't get a congrats card from Q. Hmmm, had I secretly won the Job-in-a-box Lottery I hadn't even bought a ticket to???

I toyed the little box suspiciously. So retro looking, so random... what on earth?!

"Oooh maybe it's chocolates!" I thought, salivating greedily (career as an MI5 spy / hazelnut whirl, clearly much of a muchness).

Oh! no- it's a... little fake firework.

..??

I was the lucky recipient of the latest marketing initiative from the TDA (http://www.teach.gov.uk/), who wanted to encourage me to "Make 2010 the year that launches your new career". Unravelling the little sky rocket revealed a small flyer advertising the application process and website.

Kind of loved this. Totally random, it represented quite a break from the norm of what they tend to send out - a cellophane-wrapped magazine picturing a smug woman in a roll-neck jumper, surrounded by gawping kids looking amazed at a... balloon, or something. It's a creative advertising method that plugs into all the "new year, new you" sentiments that start buzzing round in early Jan, whilst skilfully avoiding being sanctimonious and harping on about the pleasures of a "meaningful" career / shaping young minds / being all creative and good and stuff, and instead implies excitement and celebration.

Anyone who has ever actually stepped into a school will of course know what a shrewd move the marketers made there.

Perhaps a little bit loopy, definitely a waste of money... But maybe not all that incongruous with a teaching career (I'm sure a firecracker through your postbox is a regular occurrence for a fair few teachers in central London).

I'm starting to wonder when the TDA is going to start using one of the hip, young, teacher characters that keeps walking into every new American teen drama. Personally, if they wish to use Mr Matthews from 90210, I will not object (he's like, a totally awesome teacher).