Off with a BANG! - the TDA's new mail campaign

Christmas had long gone, the Boxing Day sales had deteriorated into a shambles and all my New Year's Resolutions had already fluttered away into nothingness, when a little box arrived through my postbox...

A little cardboard box emblazoned with "Happy New Career" across the front.

Had I somehow struck it lucky and got picked for an amazing job that I hadn't even had to apply to?? But what kind of job would that even BE?! Maybe like the secret service... But then that would be kind of unsubtle of them to send me a happy-new-job box. Really bloody stupid, actually. Pretty sure James Bond didn't get a congrats card from Q. Hmmm, had I secretly won the Job-in-a-box Lottery I hadn't even bought a ticket to???

I toyed the little box suspiciously. So retro looking, so random... what on earth?!

"Oooh maybe it's chocolates!" I thought, salivating greedily (career as an MI5 spy / hazelnut whirl, clearly much of a muchness).

Oh! no- it's a... little fake firework.

..??

I was the lucky recipient of the latest marketing initiative from the TDA (http://www.teach.gov.uk/), who wanted to encourage me to "Make 2010 the year that launches your new career". Unravelling the little sky rocket revealed a small flyer advertising the application process and website.

Kind of loved this. Totally random, it represented quite a break from the norm of what they tend to send out - a cellophane-wrapped magazine picturing a smug woman in a roll-neck jumper, surrounded by gawping kids looking amazed at a... balloon, or something. It's a creative advertising method that plugs into all the "new year, new you" sentiments that start buzzing round in early Jan, whilst skilfully avoiding being sanctimonious and harping on about the pleasures of a "meaningful" career / shaping young minds / being all creative and good and stuff, and instead implies excitement and celebration.

Anyone who has ever actually stepped into a school will of course know what a shrewd move the marketers made there.

Perhaps a little bit loopy, definitely a waste of money... But maybe not all that incongruous with a teaching career (I'm sure a firecracker through your postbox is a regular occurrence for a fair few teachers in central London).

I'm starting to wonder when the TDA is going to start using one of the hip, young, teacher characters that keeps walking into every new American teen drama. Personally, if they wish to use Mr Matthews from 90210, I will not object (he's like, a totally awesome teacher).

Coco Pops NEWSFLASH: All foods are healthy in comparison to a worse food... Like, say, lard.

"Ever thought of Coco Pops after school?" screams the advert, as we go riding on a slightly hallucinogenic coco-poppy wave. "Ever thought of taking responsibility for your childrens' diet and upbringing?" tweets disgruntled David J. Carr, DJC1805, in response. (http://tinyurl.com/yfbekgh)

And he has a point really, doesn't he? In this day and age when we can rarely open a newspaper without being bombarded with the latest hideous stats about how Britons are all mutating into great, lumbering, humanised tubs of lard, I thought we were meant to be encouraging rabbit food to the masses.

However, Coco Pops' latest ad seems to suggest creating a fourth meal time, and seems to imply that Coco Pops are the quick, fun and healthy (alas, those three words never honestly work together) way to fill a hole in your hunger.

At least 'til Mum wacks on the turkey twizzlers, one assumes.

Predictably, the Good People of Britain have had concerns about the ad. With all the recent furore over junk-food ads, it seems incongruous that a sugary cereal, aimed at kids, had slipped through the strict regulations net.

Kellogg's argued its case originally in 2008, saying that 90% of kids already have an afternoon snack, and thus they aren't creating a 'mealtime' that doesn't already exist. Furthermore, they maintain that Coco Pops with milk is a low fat and low saturated fat food, providing all sorts of RDAs of vitamins like iron and calcium, making it a suitable alternative to snacking on crisps, biscuits or chocolate.

Surely that's like branding Amy Winehouse as a tee-totaller (as long as we're comparing her to George Best).

So basically, it might seem wrong to shove Coco Pops down your kids throats, but if the alternative is a yard of Dairy Milk, then at least you're making some headway into good parenting.

If you believe the press, we'll probably all end up dying of asphyxiation from our own multiple chins anyway, so heck, why not live it up - reach for the Coco Pops.

At least we'll have a nice, plump finger to wag at the ASA.

ASA Adjudication of Kellogg's http://www.asa.org.uk/Complaints-and-ASA-action/Adjudications/2008/4/Kellogg-Company-of-GB-Ltd/TF_ADJ_44312.aspx