Animals for advertising?! Sounds fishy...

Branded Fool is a real nosey-cods.

So when he overheard an interesting anecdote doing the rumour mill recently, his ears pricked up pronto. 


The word on the street is that a big hair product brand has been a little risque in its PR recently, delivering live goldfish to magazine offices in the hope of a bit of product placement. 


(The company name may or may not rhyme with Tish...)


Unfortunately their grand plan seem to have backfired. Far from thinking of the move as innovative, the editorial team spent most of the afternoon looking perplexed before palming the fish off on a very confused-looking intern.


The whole concept is a little weird, but it got Branded Fool thinking. What if it marks the beginning of a new advertising trend? Will Anchor start sending us cows? What if Compare The Market start unleashed a plague of meerkats upon central London?!


Branded Fool doesn't want to share his morning commute with the Coco Pops monkey.


Still, could be worse. Thank your lucky stars Sainsbury's isn't sending Jamie Oliver out to do the rounds. 

"Don't make me shove this carrot where the sun don't shine..."

Elephantastic: Nelly and chums take over London

On my daily walk to work I quite often encounter some colourful characters, but I had an extra special treat this week when I bumped into this wee fellow near Devonshire Square:

"Elephantastic" by Lily Marneffe is turning heads in Devonshire Square 

London has been invaded by a flamboyant herd of extravagantly decorated elephants this week, as the first ever London Elephant Parade takes over the city.

Over 260 model elephants will be popping up at various prestigious locations, including tourist hot-spots Buckingham Palace, the South Bank and Trafalgar Square.

 Click here to see the best of the London Elephant Parade gallery courtesy of The Telegraph

The elephants have been decorated by various artists and designers, including Lulu Guiness, Paul Smith, Diane von Furstenberg and Alice Temperley, in aid of The Elephant Family charity. After a few months of city exploration, the collection will be auctioned off to raise £2 million for The Elephant Family and more than 15 UK conversation charities working in Asia.

What a brilliant way to draw attention to a good cause whilst capturing imagination and raising a few smiles - love it (I would put an elephant related joke here, but I'm sure you've herd them all before).

Ps. Stay tuned for my next article when I'll be discussing three very topical elephants...

Sixt gets a leg up from Carla Bruni

When car hire firm Sixt were creating their ads for the Citroen C3 Hatchback, they were clearly looking for that certain je ne sais quoi, and how better to provide a little va va voom than with a (little) French flavour?  Thus here we have their latest advert, a cheeky dig at president Sarkozy.

"Be like Madame Bruni, take a small french model"

Car hire firm Sixt uses a bit of Bruni banter

 The pint-sized president isn't unfamiliar with jokes about the height difference between him and his wife - the French love a good blague about Sarkozy's stacked heels,  and the Sun recently ran an April Fool's Day piece claiming the president was to undergo a "stretching" procedure. 

Forget stacked heels... passez-moi the stilts svp!

But apparently this latest jibe has crossed the line with Nicolas, and rumour has it that Sixt might be facing legal action. Someone needs to tell Sarkozy to chill out and be the bigger man... oh. 

Ads gone bad: Poland gets controversial

Brilliant piece in this week's Stylist magazine -- apparently advertisers in Poland have had a tricky month. Imagine you were responsible for creating a hospital's breast cancer awareness poster. What sort of angle might you go for? What kind of message would you want to portray? No matter how tequila slammers or stupidity pills you'd consumed, I'm fairly certain this slogan wouldn't have made your top 5:

"I check the breasts of my workers"

Feminist groups in Poland are demanding it be changed, whilst the team responsible for creating it defend the ad by arguing that the controversy is designed to draw attention to the important issue. "It may be provocative, but that is what we wanted", says Wieslaw Kaczmarek, head of the cancer prevention programme (quoted by the New Poland Express website).

But it seems Poland's creatives are on a bit of a roll. Allow me to present Extremely Inappropriate Ad number two. A pro-abortion campaign has ripped off the famous MasterCard ads to advise Polish women that they can get a free abortion in the UK. 

"Plane ticket to England at special offer: 300 zloty. Accommodation: 240 zloty. Abortion in a public clinic: 0 zloty. 

"Relief after a procedure carried out in decent conditions? Priceless."

Abortion is illegal in Poland, unless the woman's health is at risk, the pregnancy is the result of a rape, or the fetes is seriously malformed. The result is that many women are forced to pay for back-street abortions at home, which the ad clearly is aiming to prevent, by highlighting the "bargain" of travelling to the UK for a free abortion as a member of the EU. 

This extremely serious situation aligned with a "spoof" style ad seems distinctly appropriate (Equating a credit card transaction with an abortion?!) however Stylist also reveals the content isn't even strictly accurate: "The UK's department of Health...claims this is a misleading ad, as non-emergency procedures are not available to non-British citizens". 

Distasteful and factually inaccurate?  Pretty sure they won't be winning any awards for that one, then. 

Cathay Pacific - more than just an airline, by the looks!

Waiting at a jam-packed Moorgate station the other day, I become transfixed by this bizarre advert on the tube.

This is apparently an advert for Cathay Pacific airlines. Call me crazy, but nothing in the images make me think of airlines. Or holidays. Or travel, or surely ANYTHING I should be thinking when I look at an ad for an airline?!

There's some text on the other side - Great Service. Great People. Great Fares. But to be honest I'm kind of ignoring that and instead spend a good 2 minutes considering why an airline would promote its service by picturing a member of staff in a blonde wig. I double check - alas, not a single mention of a free wig with every flight.


I just don't get it! Am I supposed to think that these Cathay Pacific girls would be fun on a night out? The childish looking girl in the pic on the far left looks like she would be better suited to a Disney ad, and the wig is just making me think of Lost In Translation (surely Bill Murray is not renowned for his flight-selling skills). Equally not sure how to interpret the other lady, who looks pretty much the same in or out of her uniform.

Left with no real clues, except a vague notion that perhaps the idea is that the staff are great as are the people that live in the destinations, my brain starts warping and I'm thinking that if I was a bloke I might be hoping the "Great service" would be a little more than a hot meal and a packet of peanuts (I am blaming this notion on the wig, finger pout and low-cut top, not my own sick mind... i don't think...).

Any interpretations welcome - I'm lost on this one!

The V word makes its advertising debut!

So there I was, trekking to work, dragging myself up the tube escalator when I see an advert I hadn't noticed before. Some squiggly writing. Hmm what's that say? Vajay... jay?!?! Vajayjay!??  But wait, isn't that... doesn't that mean..?! I'm getting a bit closer to the ad now, squinting in disbelief and YES! Definitely says vajayjay. Maybe I got confused. Is vajayjay a new rapper? I kind of start chuckling at myself, some silly sausage hasn't realised that vajayjay clearrrrly can only be used in a lady garden context! I start to wonder if vajayjay will be touring with Lady Gaga sometime but soon but -No! No there's something else on the ad... little script at the bottom....

loveyourvagina.com

[loveyourvagina.com ad, Moorgate station. Sorry for distant photo... felt like a bit of a pervy weirdo]

Ohhh it's just outrageous isn't it! Just when you thought that the 'v word' would never feature in any ad ever in the history of the world, there it is right in your face (i say) on your daily commute. There are a series of ads featuring slang words for one's... vajayjay... including frufru and bajingo, the words forming a V shape (more subtle that it sounds, actually!).  

So what's it advertising, you may well ask? I initially assumed it must be some sort of government health campaign, as it wasn't too dissimilar to the STI awareness ads (they included a pic of a man in boxers with GONORRHOEA written where you'd expect 'Calvin Klein' to be), but intriguingly the loveyourvagina.com link takes you to a new website created on behalf of Mooncup.

For the uninitiated, the 'Mooncup' is hailed as a ecological new form of female sanitary protection. Up to now, the only way the Mooncup ever seemed to promote itself, was through stickers on the back of toilet doors. They also usually featured a felt-tip scrawled EWWW SOUNDS GROSS (that's the censored version) over the top of them. The website mostly serves as a platform to the main Mooncup site, but it's worth a visit alone for the page 'tell us what you call yours'. In case you're wondering, here a few examples of what to call your / your lady's 'special place':::

• 
  
  
  • 
    
    Faloola
  • 
    
    My netherlands
  • 
    
    Jaxy
  • 
    
    Figa
  • 
    
    Kunt
  • 
    
    Lady cave
  • 
    
    Pik pik
  • 
    
    Harriet
  • 
    
    Perlimpimpin le magicien
  • 
    
    Penis flytrap
  • 
    
    Lady star
  • 
    
    Penny spender
  • 
    
    Mossy cleft
  • 
    
    Falula
  • 
    
    Money slot
  • 
    
    Ninny
  • 
    
    Peep peeps
  • 
    
    Mooie
  • 
    
    Mu cha cha My thatcher Ms. tiggywinkle
    
    
    www.loveyourvagina.com

WERTHER'S CHOCOLATE - from grandpas to crazy ladies

The latest ad campaign to drive me up the wall has to be the new Werther's ads.

When I think of Werther's, I think of a warm and fuzzy camera shot of a cosy living room, with a flat-capped grandpa offering a gold-wrapped toffee to a little blond grandson who looks so tooth-achingly sweet in the first place that you start to wonder if the Werther's will tip him over the edge into diabetes.

Werther's have ditched this angle (probably partly due to the fact that you can't put an old man with a young person on TV anymore as we'll only think it's a "Watch out for paedos on the internet" warning) and have moved into the trend of marketing confectionery to women, which has previously worked for many brands.

My only concern is that after watching the new series of ads, filmed as cheesy "testimonials" from women trying the Werther's Chocolate product, I'm wondering if the new sweet has brain zapping power. You want proof?? Listen to Mika's terrifying testimony! ::

(click here if you want to see the shocking proof http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a83tTN64qV4&feature=related)

I love Werther's.. and I love chocolate. (yeah, chocolate's good, we hear you)

I wonder if it's more chocolate... or more Werther's (not really that bothered...)

[tries a sweet]

Well it's interesting.. cos first of all you get the milk chocolate, but then immediately the Werther's! (well that's probably why it's called Werther's Chocolate?)

THAT'S QUITE MAD! (Christ, Mika... bit OTT)

It's really good actually! (Err Mika?.. are you alright?!)

Mm it's delicious! (MIKA! EARTH TO MIKA!)

ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!! (STEP AWAAAY FROM THE SWEETS, LADY!)

Scary... Think I almost preferred the paedo grandpa.

Thompson Reuters - product confidence or advertising stupidity?!

One thought struck me as I opened the Financial Times last week and saw this Thompson Reuters ad:


Why are there trademark blue and red BLOOMBERG screens all over it?!?



[Bloomberg and Thompson Reuters are competitors in the financial information and technology sector. If you fancy reading more about their battles for supremacy, you might like Rob Hayward's article, http://robhayward.blogspot.com/2009/08/reuters-vs-bloomberg.html ]

Off with a BANG! - the TDA's new mail campaign

Christmas had long gone, the Boxing Day sales had deteriorated into a shambles and all my New Year's Resolutions had already fluttered away into nothingness, when a little box arrived through my postbox...

A little cardboard box emblazoned with "Happy New Career" across the front.

Had I somehow struck it lucky and got picked for an amazing job that I hadn't even had to apply to?? But what kind of job would that even BE?! Maybe like the secret service... But then that would be kind of unsubtle of them to send me a happy-new-job box. Really bloody stupid, actually. Pretty sure James Bond didn't get a congrats card from Q. Hmmm, had I secretly won the Job-in-a-box Lottery I hadn't even bought a ticket to???

I toyed the little box suspiciously. So retro looking, so random... what on earth?!

"Oooh maybe it's chocolates!" I thought, salivating greedily (career as an MI5 spy / hazelnut whirl, clearly much of a muchness).

Oh! no- it's a... little fake firework.

..??

I was the lucky recipient of the latest marketing initiative from the TDA (http://www.teach.gov.uk/), who wanted to encourage me to "Make 2010 the year that launches your new career". Unravelling the little sky rocket revealed a small flyer advertising the application process and website.

Kind of loved this. Totally random, it represented quite a break from the norm of what they tend to send out - a cellophane-wrapped magazine picturing a smug woman in a roll-neck jumper, surrounded by gawping kids looking amazed at a... balloon, or something. It's a creative advertising method that plugs into all the "new year, new you" sentiments that start buzzing round in early Jan, whilst skilfully avoiding being sanctimonious and harping on about the pleasures of a "meaningful" career / shaping young minds / being all creative and good and stuff, and instead implies excitement and celebration.

Anyone who has ever actually stepped into a school will of course know what a shrewd move the marketers made there.

Perhaps a little bit loopy, definitely a waste of money... But maybe not all that incongruous with a teaching career (I'm sure a firecracker through your postbox is a regular occurrence for a fair few teachers in central London).

I'm starting to wonder when the TDA is going to start using one of the hip, young, teacher characters that keeps walking into every new American teen drama. Personally, if they wish to use Mr Matthews from 90210, I will not object (he's like, a totally awesome teacher).

Coco Pops NEWSFLASH: All foods are healthy in comparison to a worse food... Like, say, lard.

"Ever thought of Coco Pops after school?" screams the advert, as we go riding on a slightly hallucinogenic coco-poppy wave. "Ever thought of taking responsibility for your childrens' diet and upbringing?" tweets disgruntled David J. Carr, DJC1805, in response. (http://tinyurl.com/yfbekgh)

And he has a point really, doesn't he? In this day and age when we can rarely open a newspaper without being bombarded with the latest hideous stats about how Britons are all mutating into great, lumbering, humanised tubs of lard, I thought we were meant to be encouraging rabbit food to the masses.

However, Coco Pops' latest ad seems to suggest creating a fourth meal time, and seems to imply that Coco Pops are the quick, fun and healthy (alas, those three words never honestly work together) way to fill a hole in your hunger.

At least 'til Mum wacks on the turkey twizzlers, one assumes.

Predictably, the Good People of Britain have had concerns about the ad. With all the recent furore over junk-food ads, it seems incongruous that a sugary cereal, aimed at kids, had slipped through the strict regulations net.

Kellogg's argued its case originally in 2008, saying that 90% of kids already have an afternoon snack, and thus they aren't creating a 'mealtime' that doesn't already exist. Furthermore, they maintain that Coco Pops with milk is a low fat and low saturated fat food, providing all sorts of RDAs of vitamins like iron and calcium, making it a suitable alternative to snacking on crisps, biscuits or chocolate.

Surely that's like branding Amy Winehouse as a tee-totaller (as long as we're comparing her to George Best).

So basically, it might seem wrong to shove Coco Pops down your kids throats, but if the alternative is a yard of Dairy Milk, then at least you're making some headway into good parenting.

If you believe the press, we'll probably all end up dying of asphyxiation from our own multiple chins anyway, so heck, why not live it up - reach for the Coco Pops.

At least we'll have a nice, plump finger to wag at the ASA.

ASA Adjudication of Kellogg's http://www.asa.org.uk/Complaints-and-ASA-action/Adjudications/2008/4/Kellogg-Company-of-GB-Ltd/TF_ADJ_44312.aspx